GAY PRIDE!
By Lancelot
This iz Lancelot, and I iz totally GAY. In fact, I iz a bit of a ‘gay icon.’ I iz telling you this to explain all about being GAY, and to dispel some of the common myffs associated wiff gayness.
F.A.K“Lancelot, wuz you born gay – or did you turn gay?’
I fink that all gay cats iz born gay. Nobody ‘converted’ me to gayness. Even when I wuz a kitten, I was drawn to the music of The Communards, Marc Almond and The Village People.
“Lancelot, duz you chase NON-gay cats?”
NO! It iz a common myff that gay cats chase NON-gay cats and try to smudge-kiss them. This iz total rubbish. Gay cats ain’t interested in non-gay cats.
“Lancelot, iz it true that gay-cats ‘hate’ girl cats?”
TOTAL RUBBISH! We luff girl cats, and some of me best friends (like me Ma and Auntie Caitlyn) iz girls. We just don’t wanna smudge-kiss ‘em, that’s all.
“Lancelot, if a cat thinks he might be gay, should he be afraid?”
NO! Bein’ gay is just like bein’ NON-gay but wiff better fur and snazzier collars. Gay cats wot pretend to be NON-gay cats iz lonely and miserable. COME OUT OF THE CLOSET (I iz speakin’ metaphorically; closets iz perfect to snuggle up and sleep in. Very cozy.)
“Lancelot, is it true that gay cats only like Marc Almond, The Communards, The Village People,
Culture Club and Aretha Franklin?”
NO! I also like Ricky Martin. (But or course, me favourite iz ‘The Pet Shop Boys.’)
“Lancelot, you are a true ‘gay icon!’ Do you have any gay icons of your own?”
YES! Uncle Danny. (He iz TOTALLY BRILLIANT and me TOTAL HERO!)
