A Kiss IS Still a Kiss: The KIU Guide to Puckering UP

By Caitlyn Hallman

Listen up cat and kittens, the holiday season is here, and we all know what that means: plenty of kissing opportunities. With office and university department parties, friend and family gatherings, mistletoe at every turn and the all-important New Year’s kiss looming, we must be on guard for smooching moments. Whilst I cannot claim to be the foremost authority on the subject, I am an avid kisser. It’s one of my favorite activities and something that I have taken much of my time to reflect upon, study and try to perfect. Here are just a few tips and suggestions I have developed over the years. They have served me well and I hope they will help you pucker up with confidence this December.

1. The tooth is truth: Dental Hygiene First!!!
   Want to make sure your breath is fresh when you lean in to plant one? Well, you’ll need more than breath mints and gum, if you haven’t been taking care of your teeth. A surprisingly large number of cases of bad breath are caused by poor dental hygiene. Don’t let plaque and germs build up, make sure you see your dentist regularly for a check-up and cleaning (I go every six months), brush your teeth at least twice a day and floss.
2. Go on and kiss the girl.
   In attendance at a recent holiday do, I noticed a disturbing trend; a number of lovely ladies giving their male companions the go ahead for a little action, and a large percentage of these lads either not noticing or forfeiting the chance. Listen, if you have been flirting with a girl all evening, you are sitting alone in a cozy corner, she is leaning in to you and laughing at everything you say, she is being more than just polite: She digs you a lot! So get in there! Grab her and kiss her! She will be greatly appreciative. (Okay and about 1 in 5,000 chance she might smack you, but in my opinion it’s a risk worth taking.)





Just like Rhett tells Scarlett: ‘You need to be kissed and often and by somebody who knows how,’ we could all use such attentions.

3. Be firm yet yielding.
   These are contradictory terms, you say! Yes they are, but a good kiss should be both. There’s nothing worse then locking lips with a mushy mouth, and likewise, it’s not too pleasant to meet with hard lips either. The best kiss portrays both confidence and enthusiasm (hence the firm lock) and is still welcoming and receptive (the yield).
4. Don’t lead straight in with the tongue.
   That always throws people off. One minute you’re just sitting there and the next minute you have some sort of foreign object being thrust down your throat. NO!!! No one likes this. Start in with a nice, firm, closed mouth kiss and move into a French.
5. Match kiss for kiss.
   Pay attention to what your partner is doing. Try to make your kiss match theirs. Is it gentle? Is it quick? Is it lingering? Figure out their style, and try and guess what their next move will be. Not everyone in the world enjoys being kissed in the same manner. What worked with your ex, isn’t necessarily going to work for every other person you will ever kiss. Be aware of what other wants. It will be a much more enjoyable experience for you both.
6. Variety is the spice of life.
   Mixing kisses of different lengths and intensity makes a make-out session more interesting. It’s what turns a short, flitting smooch fest to a serious, hour long affair.
7. Forgot what you look like.
   Very few people look as glamorous as movie stars do when they are kissing in films. In fact you probably look quite silly while you are kissing. This doesn’t matter. As long as it feels good, then it is good. It’s one of the few moments in life when appearance doesn’t count.
8. Keep your eyes closed.
   Okay, you might be able to get away with a quick peek, but everyone hates a starer. For the reason why, see number 7.
9. Compliment all the good kissers you meet.
   

   Everyone likes a bit of encouragement. If someone is doing a good job, make sure you let them know.

10. Practice makes perfect.

As with everything in life, the more you kiss, the better at it you become. So just get out there and enjoy yourself!

Note: The same rules also apply to pets. According to Amanda, Serge (that famous feline) is one of the top kissers of all time.

Serge Halé:
Amanda's favourite kissing partner.