Cesar Borgia: Known as the debauched, corrupt Pope who was a model for Machiavelli's political philosophy, this guy displayed bad papal behavior and indulged in building palatial dwellings and sexual pleasures that are beyond vanilla sex. Hmm, what's he like as a bed mate?

Chen Daoming: A great character actor from the Beijing school of acting; he often portrays noble emperors, i.e. Chinese TV series Kangxi Dynasty and Zhang Yimou's Hero.

Takeshi Kitano: The Japanese movie icon and director who glamorized the yakuza and the code of honor. Is anyone thinking about sex yet?

Sean Bean: His chick flick roles (Anna Karenina and a bunch of BBC series) give women plenty of fantasy material. Lately, his slovenly, yet darkly seductive Boromir character from Lord of the Rings, the fallen human, is far more sexy than his previous roles.

Genghis Khan: Yes, he mercilessly scorched, stamped civilizations to dust, and encouraged looting and raping. But one should give him credit from being born into a relatively powerless clan and becoming a fearless conqueror of Eurasia through his own skills, courage, and political strategies in his own lifetime no less. Another dark sex fellow perhaps?

Rumi: Classical Persian poet who wrote about mysticism as a loving, orgasmic experience.

Zhou Enlai: The Chinese Premier of the People's Republic of China until his death in 1976. He tried to keep Mao in check and had an idealistic vision that is indicative of his kind nature. His nobility of character has inspired a deep love and respect from the Chinese till this day.

Miguel de Unamuno: He was a Basque philosopher and author, taught in Salamanca, and mastered 14 languages. His philosophy echoes a wistful struggle between rationality and the longings of the heart, akin to Existentialism. Don Miguel despised labels, so I won't do it to him here. When Milan Astray, a minion of Dictator Francisco Franco, made a fool out of himself with his pompous and autocratic speech, the hot-heated, yet eloquent Unamuno was the only one to speak up in an atmosphere of censorship and punishment of free speech. He said, "At times to be silent is to lie. You will win because you have enough brute force. But you will not convince. For to convince you need to persuade. And in order to persuade you would need what you lack: Reason and Right." Because of Unamuno's international status, the Franco regime dared not kill him but put him under house arrest until his death, where he died grieving for his beloved Spain whose bloody civil began in 1936.

Stephen Chow: A pure comedic genius of Hong Kong film. He satirizes all that is revered and valued in Chinese culture. He's also quite good with straightforward, scatalogical humor such as comedy involved with phlegm, cross-dressing, boobs, and general goofball antics. His Shaolin Soccer movie is possibly his best work that combines his eccentric imagination with international football and parody of Chinese culture.

Jon Dahl Tomasson: Not much to say, he's pretty, that's all. Bare facts: Danish football player whose contract gets sold and re-sold by international clubs quite often, maybe because he's disposable. Ladies and interested parties, rumor has it he isn't as innocent as he looks.

Joao Pinto: In honor of World Cup 2002 and the fact that football fans have to wait another few years until 2006 Germany, we present Mr. Pinto. He punched the Argentianian referee (an exciting tug-of-war among stubborn Latin types), got suspended, and drove his native Portugal to embarrassment. The country was generally so mortified that a Portuguese critic groaned that Portugal is so backwards that it places the cart before the horse. Sex anyone?

Stellan Skarsgard: After seeing Mr. Skarsgard's bulbous ass in the pretentious film Timecode, I am not sure I would like to think about sex anymore. Indeed, he's been in quite a few pompous and unsuccessful films. But he is a wonderfully talented actor, and his role in Lars von Trier's Breaking the Waves is a personal favorite.

Artur Dmitriev: A Russian two-time Olympic Gold Medalist and Olympic Silver Medalist in pairs figure skating. He was a dream to look at in his heyday. He brought passion, innovative choreography, traditional ballet, and beautiful music onto the ice with his partners Natalia Mishkuteniok and Oksana Kazakova.

Philip II of Spain: He was a bad boy, a.k.a. King of Spain during the Golden Age and son of Holy Roman Emperor, who loved to fight bloody wars in Europe and his colonies over religion, acquisition of land, and maintenance of his vast empire. He had an international blackbook, having married and remarried quite a few princesses of several royal houses. Among his list of wives: Mary I of England, Mary Tudor, Princess Elisabeth of France, and Anne of Austria. Ahem, what do you think of bad boy sex?

Samora Machel: He was the first President of Mozambique and fought for independence from Portugal successfully after approximately 20 years of war. He was also the first native Mozambican to earn to a Ph.D. in 1960. He died in a plane crash in 1986 which was considered foul play by South African plotters, but that is still debated today. His widow Graca Machel was later remarried to Nelson Mandela.

Zapatista Subcommander Marcos: The general world doesn't know his identity, while his head is mysteriously veiled under a knit mask that resembles a badly cut women's pantyhose. Mexico City dreads him and his ELZN army. When American CBS "60 Minutes" interviewed Marcos a few years ago, it was reputed that Marcos was a rich boy who went to Harvard and that the Mexican comics have caught up and drawn him up as a hero. Mexican critics then say women are enamoured with the mystery, his nice arms, and piercing eyes, and Subcommander Marcos just giggled at the suggestion. After all, there is still a possibility that he's ugly despite his beautiful eyes, political convictions, guerilla outfits, manly pipe-smoking, and those revolutionary arms.

Shah Rukh Khan: Just watch his brooding, war-like role who pined for his love in Asoka. Mmm.....

Andy Lau Tak Wah: He's in his 40's but you'd never guess. He's been singing, acting, and producing projects in Hong Kong entertainment industry for over 20 years. He's won numerous awards for his music and acting. Andy needs no introduction and his accomplishments speak for themselves. He's all over Asia and all over your local Asian market store no matter where you are on earth. This guy has been around since I was in diapers, and I would still gladly, um, shake his hand.

Bruce Lee: He died in circumstances that are disturbingly similar to Elvis' death. Bruce was rumored to be on steroids that blasted his brain and his body was found in the apartment of a Hong Kong starlet. Over 20 years later Bruce's own son dies of a rumored "curse." What made Bruce good was his ego. He made jumping up and down and screaming like a monkey look really cool instead of foolish. What he lacked in skill he compensated it with his boldness, unapolegetic fighting style, and speed of movement.

Jet Li: He can't act, he's average-looking, but he can show you how to fight. He was Chinese martial arts champion for many years. Every position is perfect and his mastery of form and technique is probably the best in the film world. While Jackie chan is more of a stuntsman, Jet is a true martial artist. No BS, just pure technique and application of martial arts knowledge.

Chow Yun Fat: Subdued virility. Masculine elegance. He was the dark, passionate lover clad in dark suits and back-combed hair circa 1940. He was the self-assured and powerful King of Siam who bit off grenades and threw them to the enemy. He was the enlightened swordsmaster, who in traditional white robes, stood on the leaf of a forest tree. That said, his early career was full of goofball comedies, cheesy TV series, and foolish roles that would immediately shatter his image of mysterious aura. But, how can Hong Kong not be proud of you?

Danny Lee Sau Yin: Danny resembles the heroic yakuza icon Takeshi Kitano but Danny won't like it a bit. Because Danny has the heart and soul of a cop who combats the underworld to the last drop of his blood, and no he is not a policeman. He has a fetish for cops and he was a cop in practically every movie and TV series he's appeared in. He's also a successful director but he can never part from his cop girdle. The Hong Kongers call him "Lee Sir," a historic reminder of the British Royal Police force's greeting etiquette. The most memorable and internationally recognized role of Lee Sir is his showdown with Chow Yun-Fat in John Woo's The Killer. In this list of distinguished men, the phenomenon of Danny Lee has posed the most mind-boggling of questions, "Why don't you just become a cop?" It may just have to do with the fact that maybe his vision of the Ultimate Cop fits better in movies than in reality.

Tom Hanks: Despite his sappy Oscar speeches, his nauseating goody-goody-ness, and his and his wife's constant annoying declaration of love to each other, the guy still deserves to be praised. He is one of the few people in Hollywood who is worthy of respect for his acting range, dedication to work, and humble origins that finally saw the day of light.

Friedrich Nietzsche: One of the most misunderstood philosophers ever to exist on this loony earth. The Nazis got a hold of his works because Nietzsche's sister, who held rights to her brother's writings, was married to a Nazi sympathizer and "donated" Nietzsche's works to the Nazis after he went mad and consequently died in 1900. His early thought was a serious flirtation with Classical themes and German Idealism of Kant and Hegel. Then Nietzsche proceeded to reject his earlier beliefs and embraced the self-indulgent pessimism of Schopenhauer. Then Nietzsche got tired of that and managed to create something that is close to his own heart - the philosophy of the Overman which is in itself a misunderstood and distorted concept. Contrary to the many misconceptions out there, Nietzsche's philosophy is about the celebration of life, laughter, the will-power within, and freedom from social and cultural shackles that have merely asphyxiated the human being.

Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky: One of the most loved and hated authors of all time. An idealistic Russian, Dostoevsky mused with underground socialism in his youth and was consequently sentenced to death in Siberia until the Tsar pardoned him. The pardon merely meant that he didn't have to die but to cruise in Siberia for a hard labor sentence. For a man of letters the Bible was the only reading material allowed during his prison sentence, and contrary to what you might think, he actually liked it and resumed his love for the Russian Orthodox Church. After 10 years of absence from urban Russian society, he returned to the cities and was shocked at the nihilism, political instability, and the decadence of the Europeanization of Russia. Vladimir Nabokov absolutely abhorred him, and Dostoevsky's extreme insights and seemingly unrefined writing style caused many to feel ambivalent towards him. The emotional energy in his works is adrenaline itself that burns in your heart and mind. His character analyses of people are so hilarious and accurate that your boss, your colleague, boyfriend, mother, etc. can easily fit into his descriptions.

Rainer Maria Rilke: Prague-born German poet who was frail, pale, and hardly male in the virile, chest-beating sense. Wrote Idealist Romantic poetry that struggled with the existence of God, spiritual hunger, and mystical revelations.