Although we at KIU now consider February 14^th as Caitlyn and Amanda Day, a few members of our readership may still be suffering under the stigma of St. Valentine’s Day.  First, let me extend our apologies to you, and now, if you are feeling miserable, let me offer you some comfort.  At desperate times, nothing makes you feel better than a little music, and I find that when I am feeling particularly blue, I like to listen to songs about people going through an even worse time than I am.  With this in mind, here are ten songs about romantic relationships that are right down the sewer.

Say Hello/Wave Good-Bye – Soft Cell

What it’s about
Marc Almond breaks up with his ‘sleep around’ lover who has spent the past year causing scenes and embarrassing him in front of his friends.

Why it’s good
The song features some of the best, cutting break-up lines I have ever heard.

Best line
What about me? Well, I’ll find someone who’s not going cheap in the sales.’

The Tracks of My Tears -  Smokey Robinson

What it’s about
Smokey tries to pretend he’s over his ex-girlfriend, but it’s all for show; deep down inside he still loves her and will never get over her.

Why it’s good
Beautiful vocals, great lyrics, good production: what’s not to like.

Best line
If you see me with another girl seeming like I’m having fun, although she may be cute, she’s just a substitute. You’re the permanent one.’

Don’t Want Me Baby  -  Human League

What it’s about
Svengali discovers beautiful cocktail waitress, turns her into an international superstar, only for her to dump him five years later.

Why it’s good
Classic ‘80’s.  Pure and simple.

Best line
I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true, but even then I knew I’d find a much better place, either with or without you.’

The Worst That Could Happen – Brooklyn Bridge

What it’s about
Man faffs around with ‘girl’ for ages, she finally has enough and goes out to marry someone else.  Although man admits that he never is going to marry, he can’t stand the idea of her with someone else.

Why it’s good
Great organ solo in the middle.

Best line
And girl I don’t really blame you for having a dream of your own.  A woman like you needs a house and a home.’

Make it Easy on Yourself  - The Walker Brothers

What it’s about
Scott Walker gives his lover his blessing to leave him and to go to her new love.

Why it’s good
It says everything that we wish we were brave enough to say at the end of a relationship.

Best line
If you really love him and there’s nothing I can do, don’t try to spare my feelings, just tell me that we’re threw.’

Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O. Sullivan

What it’s about
A man is dumped on his wedding day and begins to contemplate the meaning of love and whether it ever can make anyone happen. According to Gilbert O. Sullivan, it can’t.

Why it’s good
The song that proves no matter how alone and pathetic you are feeling, there is someone in the world who is feeling worse than you.

Best line
It’s seems to me there are more hearts broken in this world than can be mended, left unattended.  What do we do?’

The Winner Takes It All - ABBA

What it’s about
Woman realizes her ex-lover is never going to come and admits defeat.

Why it’s good
Because she admits defeat and apologizes to her ex for her irrational behavior.  If only everyone would show their ex this amount of courtesy.

Best line
But tell me, does she kiss like I used to kiss you?  Does it feel the same when you call her name?’

Careless Whisper – George Michael

What it’s about
George Michael admits to cheating on his lover/dancing partner.

Why it’s good
George shows that guilty feet really have got no rhythm.

Best line
To the heart and mind ignorance is kind, but there’s no comfort in the truth; pain is the horror you find.’

Superstar – The Carpenters

What it’s about
Karen Carpenter falls in love with a rock star ‘before the second show.’  He has to leave her because he’s on tour, but promises to return.  He never does.

Why it’s good
‘Coz the Carpenters just have a way with a mellow pop song.

Best line
Your guitar sounds so sweet and clear, but you’re not really here.  It’s just the radio.’

Foolish Games – Jewel

What it’s about
Jewel realizes, to her disgust, her ex-boyfriend was nothing more than a talent-less creep who could talk the talk but not walk the walk.

Why it’s good
We’ve all been there.  We have all been blinded by love enough to think that they person we were dating was actually interesting, only to learn, when the relationship ends that they were nothing more than a big, fat bore.

Best line
‘Excuse, I think I’ve mistaken you for somebody else; somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself.’