Questionable Hamster scurried past the American Embassy in Baghdad. He recognized the man sitting on the sidewalk next to the closed gate. "Hey, Sadam, how's tricks?"

    Instead of a beret, Sadam wore a large Mexican sombrero. He had replaced his Kalashnikov with a guitar. "Salaam aleikum, Hamster. Want to hear a pretty song?"

    Questionable Hamster sat down under the shade of the sombrero. "Now that you have been democratically bombed out of office, what ya gonna do?"

    "I'm going to sell tacos to the Americans."

    "That's strange for this area."

    "Americans don't understand the Middle East, but they understand tacos."

    Sadam dug in a white bag next to him and took out a flour tortilla. "You see, Hamster, this tortuga--"

    "Tortilla."

    "Keep quiet Hamster, I'm used to dictating."

    "Okay." Questionable Hamster rearranged his ruffled fur.

    "This tortilla represents Iraq. You see, it has nothing on it, just a few craters."

    "Umm, a vacuum of evil."

    "Exactly, little friend." Sadam took a fistful of hamburger out of the bag and slapped it onto the tortilla. "Now, this is American meat."

    "Filling for the vacuum of evil."

    "Ah, you are a perspicacious hamster."

    "Perspiring in this heat."

    "Now we close the sides of the tortilla. The left side represents Syria, Jordan, Saudi. The right side represents Iran, Kurds and Shiias. To make it more flavorful, we add a little Turkey."

    "Umm, a symphony of discordant flavors."

    "Hehe, the taco is held firmly in an Arab fist. In military academies and war colleges they call this a pincer movement. In hardware stores they call it a mouse trap."

    "Add some cheese." Questionable Hamster said.

    "Uh huh. Then we sprinkle salsa, guaranteed to cause indigestion."

    "It sounds yummy."

    Sadam adjusted his sombrero as a humvee loaded with American soldiers concentrating on playing Sadam spades drove by.

    Questionable Hamster stood and wiggled in his space suit. "I wonder if Americanos know kimchee."

    Sadam though for a moment. "Rotten cabbage buried underground is bound to interest them."

    "You mean they like underground stuff?"

    "They thrive on it."

    "Goodie, we'll start a Space Hamster mushroom business."

    "Sorry, little friend, you're too late. They've been eating funny mushrooms for years."

    "Are you sure?"

    "As sure as my name is Pancho."